I've tried writing a blog on my time in Spain...but my heart just wasn't in it. So I deleted it.
Then I tried writing one on how I've been doing emotionally as my time is coming to a close, but the theme was pretty much whining. So I deleted that one.
So how 'bout I just ramble and see where it goes?
I'm sitting in a hotel right now trying to send in some documents to my company and the internet isn't being friendly. I've sat here for about an hour and half trying to attach a word document, and it still hasn't attached yet.
I've been in a very contemplative mood lately...thinking about my time here...what it will be like back home in America...wondering how I"m going to put my two years over here into words...
I was reminded this week of the "missionary sacrifice." I'm missing an event back in America that I never thought I would miss, and it hurt my heart deeply. I've missed many of the past year, but for some reason this one seem to just pierce my heart.
When I heard it, it made me want to wallow, wallow, wallow in how hard my life is. Ha. I know...how lame is that? All I have to do is look out my window and see more people than I can count whose life is harder than mine.
Jeremy and I are reading Numbers in Bible class and I get so frustrated at the Israelites for how many times they complain! And when I pouted and cried because I didn't get my way with the timing of this event happening, I realized I was just like another Israelite in the wilderness complaining to the Lord.
Its during these times when I think.. "Will I really be able to living overseas for a long periods of time? without my family? Missing all the fun/momentous occasions back home? Am I really will do that for you Lord?"
So of course, all day today He's put songs on my Ipod (Hillsongs "Arms Open Wide") and phone call from friends (Gordon) who just lay down God's truth on me.
Gosh...this is HARD.
Living overseas can really SUCK sometimes.
*attention: in case you already didn't know, I'm NOT a super Christian. I fail more than the rest and trust me, so many people could have done a better job over here.
I think I've decided I'm coming home in October.
And now I'm laughing at WhenParentsText.com
And here's where I"ll end my rambling.
so, some could have done a better job than you? probably true, but none could have done YOUR job...the job God had for YOU, the one with YOUR name on it, the one He especially equipped YOU to do. for reasons known only to Him, He sends certain people for certain jobs...and none of those jobs list "perfection" as a requirement. (good thing, 'cause He wouldn't be able to use any of us). He used the only perfect person for His biggest task, and that job involved a cross.
ReplyDeleteSo...thanks for letting Him use you...warts and all. You've been blessed. I love you!
LC! Don't be sad. How are u doing? Looking forward to hanging out in October!! What what.
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